Current mood:	indescribable
Current music:	|| " Monday Song " - 40 Below Summer. ||

... [this journal sucks.] ...
yeah. i'm starting this new journal, cuz personally ... i think blurty sucks. this may look like shit right now, but hopefully the beautiful amy will help me out. maybe cuz she's just so wonderful. can't explain it. but, i won't if i could. reasons known between the both of us. anywh0. you wanna catch up on some shit? go to my old journal. www.blurty.com/users/br0okelin. check it out, and shut the fuck up. thank you.

anyway... today was rather gay. mattie's away at his grandma's for christmas, till sunday. sad, sad story. heh. i woke up at like ... 12 or so today. mom made me do some shit since she can't do anything until she heals. hopefully that day comes around soon. i'm exhausted. so, talked to derrick online. i told him i was going to hang out with patrick tomorrow night. he didn't like the idea, so he got mad ... and said i was going to fuck him or something. now, it's as if he doesn't trust me with patrick. so, i simply replied. " let's not bring up the whole cheating thing, derrick. " due to the fact he cheated on his ex-slut, and he might be cheating on me. he better not be. i caught him having her in his cell phone under the name " jimmy. " just so i wouldn't find out. and when i asked her if they were still together, she told me that i know the answer. he said no though. unsure of who to believe. but, if i find out anymore shit. not only will he be permanantly crippled for real, but she'll have a speech impediment from the wire holding her jaw shut. i'm not fucking around anymore. i'm tired of the bullshit games people play. it's old news. anyway, back to a brighter note. he called, i didn't answer. then he showed up, kissed me, and figured everything was ok. he always does that. i couldn't say anything, because he automatically said he loved me. can't help it. we dropped some shit off for my mom, and went driving around. honestly, it's like we are married. i wear my wedding band, left hand, ring finger. as he does the same. we act like it, and it's kinda scary. but, it gives me this great feeling ... of being inlove. and i am inlove. [sorry.] so, he dropped me off. cuz it's his sister's birthday. um, oh well. patrick stopped by, i bummed a couple cigarettes off him. i'm done with pack already. gayness. cleaned my room, took a bath. now, i'm sitting here. it's 11:23 and i'm not tired. my leg's asleep though. eeeehh. maybe derrick will call me. or jack. cuz, jack's hot. i'm off though. i'm talking to the beautiful amy. [down.]


you know how i feel about you. but, i guess we both know it's wrong. but, you understand... if i had THAT chance... i'd do it in a heart beat. just to see you happy ... but, i think you're happy with what you have now. i just wish i was happy for you ...