Current mood:	cranky
Current music:	|| "Hokus Pokus" - ICP. ||

-| you're still the one. |-
who0. yeah. hectic week, i must say. after all this with me and derrick, i just can't seem to think straight anymore. yesterday, we got into a fight while i was in school on the phone ... and, then he said he was gonna come and get me. so, i walked outside when school was over. he wasn't there. my friend said i looked like a little girl who just lost her puppy. yeah, i guess. so, yeah. he came over a little after 4 with mattie. he got mad at me again, so ... what could i do? i didn't care. i went to have a cigarette and he came with me. we talked, argued. he got all EEHHH on me, and idk. i don't want to say it ... but, it's like he's becoming aggressive. like, if i wasn't listening to him ... he would grab me roughly. idk. [note: i <3 being grabbed rough, just not when it hurts a lot.] idk. he said i built a wall between us, and it's hard to get through it. well, yeah derrick. you were seeing that A.I.D.S cunt behind my back, and lying to my face so HELLO. but. he said that was all over. and this time i hope to god it is. cuz, this is the last time i will take his bullshit. he wants to marry me, then he needs to step inline and shape up. i won't deal with this anymore. i've been through too much pain, and NEVER in my life would i think derrick would hurt me this way. but, we made up after talking, and ... all i had to do was just look at him and realize how much i love him, and i don't want to lose him. he's all i have left. anywh0. we went driving around last night, gayness. came home, and he layed in bed with me. i found the most comfiest spot between his arm and his chest, and nuzzled up, gave him a kiss goodnight and passed the fuck out. boy, it was quick too. ;x i woke up when he was leaving cuz, he like ... jumped out of bed.

but, anyway. it's friday... and he's coming here soon... hopefully. idk. i don't talk to him much. we don't do much anyway. eeeehhhhh. >_< i'll shut up. i found out my best friend ... lisa ... is bi-sexual today. i mean, she knew i was bi since the first day i met her freshman year... and she was ok with it. but, she always said she was straight. now today, she tells me different after all the hits i put on her, and messed around with her... she actually liked it all. we slept in the same bed all the time, and i always made comments ... and tried shit just like .. joking around, and she always played back but i never knew she meant it. AHHHH. scary, but cool. i can deal.

i have my boyfriend. yes, i do. that's all that matters. i love him more than life its self. he's the reason i live. ;D <3 I LOVE YOU DERRICK. i'ma marry you.