Current mood:	nauseated
Current music:	|| "Eat You Alive" - Limp Bizkit<3 ||

-| fucking new years... |-
i'll just start off. derrick stayed over tuesday night. no mattie. you know what i'm saying. =D

woke up, yesterday morning, mattie didn't get his tattoo so he came over. mommy wanted to go tanning again, so we all hopped in the car and went to tan. i drove. i actually feel more comfortable with derrick in the passanger seat than my mom, cuz i don't have to hear her mouth. eh. i tanned, which felt soo good to be doing again. i got my old color back quickly, and i got my freckles back. derrick thinks they're cute though. ;D so, we went to Dunkin Donuts. i got some nummy ice cream,. but due to the fact i had to drive ... derrick held it and ate it all. yeah, fast fowarding. so, he left to go shower and shave. came back later, me and matt were chillin`. went to Mugs to eat. spend $67 on food between the 3 of us. i was sooo full, i didn't want to move. we went driving around, jammin` to some limp bizkit. i <3 my derrick. so, we got some liqour ... came back to my house. i had 5 shots of black berry brandy, and a mike's hard lemonade. that was enough to make my left eye do the " i don't want to move, fuck you " thing. i passed out before the ball dropped. mattie woke me up, but derrick had to hold me up. i don't remember much of watching it. i just remember waking up a little later, and not being as drunk. mattie started video taping us, then derrick pager dropped. hearing those tones made my stomach do a flip. he got up, and got all his clothes on, kissed me, said he loved me, and said he'll be right back. he hasn't done that in 4 months, and i was getting used to it. but, i understand. he's a fireman. and that's my job of being a fireman's girlfriend. after he left, i just stared at the door. mattie noticed i was crying. i couldn't help it. it's dangerous. and at any time i could lose him. and if that were to happen ... idk. i wouldn't have a reason to live. enough talk on that. it's a very sensitive subject with me. so, he came back. and we went to sleep.

now, they left me for some New Years bullshit for the fire department. whoo - hoo. idc. but, yeah. i'm bored. and really have nothing to do. so, i'ma go take a nice, hot, mmmm bath. ew, i sneezed. sorry. ok. i'll write more sometime.

[beautiful] i know how you feel. you know how i feel. just wish there was something we could do about it. p.s. i love ... it when you post comments on here. makes me feel special. =D
<3